Ay caramba. It feels like a maelstrom came at me full force and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces. As of late I have ben going about things all wrong. Somehow, some way my ego got inflated and I was thinking how kick ass I am when I'm really not that kick ass. Thinking about it I realized that it started a while back too I think it reached it's climax already. Needless to say an over inflated ego cause much turmoil for those close to me. haven't walked my dog in about 2 weeks now and I extremely bad, guilty and mad. Not just because I'm not being responsible, but because the walk is what calms me down and allows me to think about how things are going in my life. I use the walk to reflect on what I'm doing.
Not only that but with soo many things going on in my head and in life, I got caught up in something and I seemed to have lost what I once had. I was reminded and criticized about how I present my self to others and the kind of energy I give off. Needless to say I didn't like what I heard, but I needed to hear it cause no one else is willing to be up front like that with me. That being said I had an idea of what I'm doing wrong, again and I'll be reflecting on all this good stuff for a good while.
I usually take my time chewing these kinda things out because it's not something I can just decide to do one day because I'll forget the next. I was once in a place where I didn't care about what was going on, who was fucking with me or anything like that. Currently I'm acting like a cocky ass bastard who can conquer the world. There's nothing wrong with that but I just don't have my head on straight. I'll be chewing on this for a while so expect deep, thought provoking post or not. we'll see what happens.
