And the circle continues

Ay caramba. It feels like a maelstrom came at me full force and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces. As of late I have ben going about things all wrong. Somehow, some way my ego got inflated and I was thinking how kick ass I am when I'm really not that kick ass. Thinking about it I realized that it started a while back too I think it reached it's climax already. Needless to say an over inflated ego cause much turmoil for those close to me.  haven't walked my dog in about 2 weeks now and I extremely bad, guilty and mad. Not just because I'm not being responsible, but because the walk is what calms me down and allows me to think about how things are going in my life. I use the walk to reflect on what I'm doing. 

Not only that but with soo many things going on in my head and in life, I got caught up in something and I seemed to have lost what I once had. I was reminded and criticized about how I present my self to others and the kind of energy I give off. Needless to say I didn't like what I heard, but I needed to hear it cause no one else is willing to be up front like that with me. That being said I had an idea of what I'm doing wrong, again and I'll be reflecting on all this good stuff for a good while. 

I usually take my time chewing these kinda things out because it's not something I can just decide to do one day because I'll forget the next. I was once in a place where I didn't care about what was going on, who was fucking with me or anything like that. Currently I'm acting like a cocky ass bastard who can conquer the world. There's nothing wrong with that but I just don't have my head on straight. I'll be chewing on this for a while so expect deep, thought provoking post or not. we'll see what happens.    

Bruins for the DREAM Act

I gotta say that my hat goes off to every one at UCLA, IDEAS and the Alliance of Dreams. They're holding it down and they're always up to something promoting the DREAM Act. In fact all this week, as you can see from the flier, they're hosting various events through out the week to raise more awareness and remind people of what's at stake. I would have posted this earlier, but school and life got in the way, something we all know about hehehe. Anyway, this is what they're planning for the rest of the week, so if you happen to be at UCLA, stop by and yell "Pass the DREAM Act !!!" I would greatly appreciate it. Or you can yell "Metal up your ass!!!" either one works fine for me. 

5-7 pm: Asian Pacific Islander TEACH IN- Did you know 40% ofundocumented students at UCLA are of Asian descent? Come learn more about how the DREAM Act affects the Asian community and how we can stop the myth that undocumented students are only of Latino descent.

WEDNESDAY:

12-2 pm: SPOKEN WORD/ Storytelling in front of Kerckhoff. Come hear testimonies from allies and undocumented students themselves. ART EXHIBIT in front of Pauley Pavillion.

THURSDAY:

12-1 pm: MOCK GRADUATION and RALLY in front of Kerckhoff- Bring your cap and gown and graduate on the Kerckhoff steps- We will represent how undocumented cannot use their UCLA degrees to get a job- They graduate, and then say "Now What?"

FRIDAY:

MAY 1st MARCH!!!!

People

~ Building side view ~

I'll say this, and this is the truth, if it wasn't for my friends I
wouldn't be where I'm at today doing what I do at school, on this blog
or anywhere else. I may have writen about before so excuse my
repetition. I'm forever greatful for my friend and his family letting
me stay with them for more than a year now. They helped me find a job
and because of them I'm able to continue on my path and carry out work.

However, not to be ungrateful or a basterd, but sometimes I have
second thoughts about the way things are. I make it a point not to
over stay my welcome and impose myself too much on what happens in the
house. I learned that lesson the first time around somewhere else. I
stay outta their way and do what I can to help out. In essence, I just
eat, sleep and keep my stuff here. I do my work else where.

Of course living with someone your bound go hear and see things and I
never say anything. I leg them be. I don't get in their lives and I
would expect them to do the same for me. They don't. Everytime I do or
say something they criticise me and what I do. They don't know what I
do or even why I do it. Everytime I go out with someone or leave
looking nice they always day something.

Most of the time they do it in a sarcastic fashion and I brush it off,
but it comes from somewhere and it's true. It's always some sort of
comment and they imply that I'm too good for them or something to that
affect. My friends brother also does the same fucking thing. Always
talking some sort of smack about what I do or where I'm going. He
keeps saying that me blogging is stupid and that I'm wasting my time.
Needless to say it gets tiresome.

I can write about how sad and pathetic his life is and make him feel
like an idiot, but I won't. To each his own. Yet, it's always the
same. Outside in the real world i'm making a difference and helping
change things for the better. However, when I get back to the house I
see what's wrong with the world, in a sense.

~ con safos ~

El Random Poet

Yes, I performed poetry in front of others and let me tell you something, I loved it. I loved every moment of it, the attention, the fact that people liked what I had to say and the fact that I was doing something I truly love. The cool thing was that I wasn't nervous at all, least not to the point that my hands were shaking or I was loosing my voice. No, I kept cool under pressure and I read my stuff.

One cool thing I did that people related to was me telling my story about how in the 6th grade I wrote a poem about riding my bike. One of the idiot kids got a hold of it, read it out loud and basically got everyone to laugh at me for writing something like that. Kids are evil, I know and I talked about how far along I would be right now if I continued writing poetry. The past was then and now it's time to make up for lost time.

I had fun both at the workshops and at the readings. Saturday night was a RARE treat because so many talented and amazing poets showed up and brought their best stuff. I was moved in more way than one and by just watching everyone else, I was inspired to continue on with my writing and poetry. I just have to continue chipping away at it and writing, writing and writing. I'm not shy about reading in front of others so i just have to come up with stuff to read. None the less, I feel like I'm on the right path again. So with out further adieu, one of the poems I read at the readings...my epitaph.

El Random Hero

He can kill with the best of them

Quick to shoot with words, but soft enough to heal

He lived on "Random" days expecting the next to the his last

His pen was his lightsaber, it's the one that reads "BAD ASS MUTHER FUCKER"

"You're a writer"

It's odd when someone says that to me. Just a few minutes ago I was
helping my room mates little sister come up with ideas for her
homework. She's suppose to to write a type of biography of herself if
she was Jewish during the holocaust. I read what she had an it was a
great start.

But every now and then she'll ask me for help and I do. In fact today
I was heping someone else by reading their essay and making some
edits. I consider myself a writer, not a good one or a bad ass one,
just a writer in terms of me being able to explain what I wanna
through my writing rather than words.

It's always been like that for me for some reason and I tend to put
myself down because writing is so prolific and soo many do it, better
than me. It's like why bother, but in the end I don't do it for anyone
but myself. When I force it, like in school papers it's not the same.
Now that I'm getting more into poetry and writing other things beyond
news stories for newspapers, I'm learning that I have a lot more in me
than I thought.

People see me as a writer and I consider myself one as well, what kind
remains to be seen. I'm still developing my craft and I have infinate
space to improve on it. Reading more and exposing myself to newer
things is helping. I don't think I'll ever consider myself a real
writer, just a shit talker.
~ con safos ~

CNN and the DREAM Act

CNN. I would never have expected to see it on CNN but Matti did a bad ass job.