Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Redefining Aspects of my Life

Redefining numerous aspects of my life has been eye opening. I question myself in a healthy fashion that’ll spur conversations with friends about the spaces, identities and actions I claim. For me, now more than ever, these redefinitions and reflections come as another year passes by and old things become new again. Lather, rinse and repeat. Always repeat.

In many ways, it seems like I’m constantly looking back to avoid making mistakes I’ve already learned as I look into what has yet to be. All natural and universal human emotions and experiences really, nothing new.

For myself, I’ve pretty much kept the same habits, interest, personality etc. with the difference that now that I’m older, I’m clearly able to articulate my scandal, partly because I’ve been doing it for a while now, and because I am passionate about it. Not to mention that somewhere along this journey, I learned not to give a flying fuck about what others think of me, and sailing my own ship.

That kind of confidence is not easy to come by. It’s much easier to hate than to love. Take it from someone who is weaning off the haterade. Many a time I find myself thinking, why didn’t I think of this before, you know? Like I was asleep this whole time, and in a moment of clarity, all the dots connected themselves to reveal the bigger picture.

Politically, I’ve detached myself from organizing spaces because I don’t belong there. Not in the sense that I’m in a space and I don’t feel welcomed or anything negative, more of a tool box kind of sense. I don’t put all my tools in one box or bag, I put them where they belong and keep them organized. Does that make sense?

Like, I love doing digital and communications organizing/work that contributes and supplements the work others are doing. That’s what I’m good at. It was a delayed realization, but one I’m glad I was finally able to acknowledge for myself. I’ve done training and work as an organizer, and that ain’t my cup of tea yo. But you get me behind a computer and internet connection, and I will give you the tools and skills to make anything happen. Swear to god. Puro Mac Guyver.

The fact that I’ve had cumulative experience organizing not only helped figure out my role, but it’s critical in the kind of digital organizing that I do. That experience has helped me solve problems before they happen. Anticipating what organizers need and making their jobs a lot easier with tech.

As an individual, redefining and reflecting on my passions and interest have lead me to delve deeper into them because I can experience them through a new lens. That and the fact that I now have disposable income that allows me to indulge whenever I see fit. Whether it is comic books, anime or video games, I don’t think twice. I just buy and collect.

By far though, riding my bike encompasses everything I have learned over there years in terms of organizing and tech. This is where it is at for me right now. I’m passionate about doing advocacy work whether it is in the form of organizing bike rides with friends, skill sharing bike mechanics of blabbing about it on social media.

There was I time when I would be in front of a camera and I would say something to the affect of, “I’m undocumented. Poor me. Pass the Dream Act. I ride my bike to school and work because I have to. Woe is me.” These days, I’m all like, I have a work permit (DACA), I’m not really poor, but kinda still am, forget about trying to pass a bill that only benefits the few and not the many, I love riding my bike to school and work despite the fact that I can apply for a drivers license, don’t feel sorry for me cause I sure as hell don’t feel sorry for you.”

It’s funny how things can change in just a few short years, but stay the same. I love it. I find solace in the maturity age has brought, especially on the days that I decide to spend by myself.