Saturday, December 31, 2011

Existential Dreams

Existential Dreams

Alone at night

Me, myself and I

We talk a lot

Between the three of us, we can never decide

Who to condemn for this dreadful life

We never asked to be here

Whether it stemmed from a moment of passion that lead to unprotected sex

Or the whimsical decision to move to another country

We question the day in which this life was granted to us

Breathing in this air, unknowingly becoming an heir

Heir to countless broken dreams

A broken family

From one generation after another after another

Love, compassion, support, all those things that come with family

Empty shells of hate, despair, spite, ignorance, materialism

Family that communicates through violence and shouting

Always with the shouting, never with the loving

Alone at night

Me, myself and I wonder wherefore this life?

To what end should we live this life?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Updates & Changes

I made some aesthetical changes to the space. Nothing to serious, just a switching up of the colors here and there. Not much to change really, I don't like any of the other templates blogger offers, and I still haven't gotten a domain name to get cooler ones, so this'll do. In terms of the layout of the page, simple works best. I have the main entries, which now have tabs at the bottom so folks can share them on twitter and facebook.

I updated my bio and the headline atop of the page where the blog name is at. I still kept the picture of the flags only to piss off folks who don't like it. I ran through all the links I had on the right and made some changes. Some of the folks I had listed haven't updated their pages in years, so I took them off. I also added a few new ones that hopefully folks will check out when they get a chance.

Ohhh and the site now has a mobile version in case anyone reads my stuff on their phone, which up to a few weeks ago was also me. It gave me a QR code, but since I wasn't able to make sure if it was working, I decided to not share it. Maybe later on I'll set that up. Anyway, as always, thanks for reading my random thoughts that keep me from going insane in the membrane. As another year comes to a close, only time will tell what the next will bring.

Erick Huerta
"El Random Hero"

Monday, December 26, 2011

On Having Kids

God damn they're annoying sometimes. Running around screaming and jumping all over the place. Spilling and knocking over things everywhere they go. Sometimes I don't know if I should throw a shoe at them or at their parents for not doing anything about it and for giving them soda and candy.

Gah, but as of late, I've been having babies on my mind. If you would have asked me that a few months ago, I would have told you that the only babies on my mind are baby turtles. They're ever so cute. And as more and more folks are having them around me, those questions come to mind.

Of course I'm not having any kids ANYTIME SOON. The world is to messed up for that. Yet, all these feelings of longing and caring keep coming up. And then I start thinking on how I'm not getting older and societal and cultural norms are implying all the notion of having a kid, house, wife and a dog because that's what's measured as "success" or "being happy." But I know that's bull shit and totally ignore it, but the heart wants what it wants.

That's when reality sets in and things become real, like real, real. As in, I still live at my aunts house, sleep on the floor, have no job, haven't finished school and in no way shape or form am ready to be in-charge of another human beings life. I think I'll continue to live vicariously through others and family until I am ready, because even when you think you're ready, you're really not. Needless to say, getting a dog will suffice.


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Queer, Undocumented & Unafraid

Making the connection between one movement to another is something that usually happens after I have personal experience with it. As lame as that is to say, that's my process. It's when I see something first hand that a light bulb in my head will turn on and start making connections that I've overlooked. And in my life, I've never had gay friends or knew anyone who was openly queer.

Needless to say that my community demonizes anyone remotely queer because of cultural norms. I myself grew up throwing around "gay" as a derogative term to emasculate friends during name calling matches. Very mature of us, right? And it's only been in the last few years that I've met queer folks who are not only out, but proud and loud. These are some of the most amazing folks I have had the pleasure of meeting and glad to call friends.

From El Rancho

Click on the Picture to Enlarge
Facebook has this new time line layout. I noticed it the other day and figured I'd make the switch now, rather than later and not deal with any problems. Yet, yesterday I kinda noticed something that struck me as clever and unexpected. The juxtaposition between my profile picture and the picture of my family in the background.  One of the new changes in the layout is that you can have an image act as a header on your profile. Keeping in mind that this is one of the first things folks will see when stalking you, I decided to go with something that spoke to me. Needless to say that this new layout is reminiscent of how myspace worked.

I ended up going with a pic of a pic I took of my family. As you can see, the family is pretty large. This is a picture my uncle showed me. He pointed out not only himself, 2nd to the right wearing a white shirt, but he pointed out my great grand-dad and great grandma, who are sitting, and my grandpa, who is wearing a white shirt and is standing in between both the great grand parents. He didn't mention anything, but I'm guessing my father must have been in this pic if it's a family portrait. If he isn't, it also explains a lot.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Location of DUI Check Points 12/20 - 1/1

Sharing a Los Angeles Sheriffs Dept. press release about the upcoming holiday DUI checkpoints happening across town. Given that the LAPD is being more mindful of undoc folks who are driving without a license versus people driving tipsy or with a suspended/revoked license. Officers have always had the discretion of allowing the driver to call someone with a license to come pick up the car within half an hour of the stop. And if that's not an option, the car can still be towed, but rather than having the car on hold for 30 days and paying hundreds of dollars in fines, the person can get their car out the same day. Little changes that make a dramatic difference for folks who are just trying to get to work or are out with their families. It's obvious that they don't share the address of the stops, but none the less, it's worth sharing.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Were it not for ....

Sharp Tounge: Luke Chueh
There is a lesson to be learned here. What it is remains to be seen. And as is custom in my life, I will go through the motions of whatever I need to feel in order to make sure I can come to terms with what happened. I was expecting to have a job for the New Year, something that would allow me to get paid for what I already do, but I didn’t get it. I can ask why someone else was chosen over me, and I can make up my own assumptions about the process as well, but that won’t change the out come of the decision.

And what does that say about myself? That I can’t be happy that a friend got the job and that he’ll do a good job at it. But those feelings are ok to have. I’m not a jedi, a Buddhist or a super hero of any kind. I am a man. A man who lives through his emotions, is subject to irrationality, psychosis and error. I’ve never spent a thousand years meditating under a waterfall, so I think it’s ok for me to feel how I feel. Reactionary to say the least, but nothing I’m not use to.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Reports of US Citizens Being Caught in Secure Communities

In my last post, I wrote about how easy it is to get caught up in the drag net that is Secure Communities if you are undocumented. Well, more and more reports are coming out into the lime light of US Citizens being caught in this drag net as well. This just goes to show, that when local police try to act as immigration officials, it's only going to create endless problems with an already defunct system that should be terminated. It also highlights the fact that immigrants receive far worse treatment when they are being processed, held in detention centers and put through this inhumane system.

The New York Times featured two of the most recent cases of citizens being held against their will because they were profiled as being undocumented and of Latin Decent. Antonio Montejano lives here in Southern CA and despite not having a criminal record, the judge dismissing his case about him shoplifting, officers didn't believe him when he pleaded with them that he was a Citizen. If you see the video above, he has an accent, which is how the police profiled him as being "Mexican" and undocumented.

“Just because I made one mistake,” Mr. Montejano said, “I don’t think they should have done all those things to me." He said he thought the police did not believe he was an American because of his appearance. “I look Mexican 100 percent,” he said.

It was only through the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, that Antonio was released after they showed proof of his citizenship with his passport and birth certificate. Homeland Security has stated that they "need" to "fill" a quote of deporting 400,000 people every year, and anyone caught in-between that net is collateral damage and the price for "keeping the country safe." Neve mind the fact that folks are suffering from sexual abuse and indefinite imprisonment in immigration detention centers, that view people as money and could careless about their lively hood. Things are only going to continue to get worse as the next year comes around the corner. 


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How Public Transportation Can Lead to Your Deportation

In this post 9/11 world, going about your everyday business can lead to anything, from getting arrested for having "intent" to being deported for riding the train. This is something that I am conscious of every fleeting moment of my life. Not a single second is wasted in acknowledging the presence of authority where ever I may be. Whether it's inside a bank or building with cops/security inside/outside or when the sheriff's department is hanging out at train stations with bomb sniffing dogs/checking fares.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Life Doesn't Ask For Papers

I can help step back as of late to everything that's going on around and see that folks are maturing, getting older, settling down and doing those everyday things like getting married and having children. While the majority of my thoughts have and always will revolve around my identity living outside the system and as an activist trying to be a part of it, what that means and how there is a never ending fight for human and workers' rights;  there are everyday things that don't click inside my mind until I find myself congratulating friends on their blessings.

For everything that we go through as undocumented, working class, people of color.... the idea of friends getting married and having kids is both foreign and wondrous. Not all of us are going to be undocumented for the rest of our lives. We're all going to move ahead with our lives one way or another. I guess it's that, since I have these kind of conversations about the future and what'll it'll be like. Romanticizing the idea of "when I have my papers....." happens more often than not, specially when folks are feeling blue and stressed.

Friday, December 09, 2011


Whether it's lack of communication from partners or having to deal with the bureaucracy of a broken system that doesn't let you add the stupid classes you need so you can get out of community college already and transfer somewhere else because you're tired of being at that lame ass school. Grrrrrrrr...... But hey, things could always be worse right? Damn holidays always for making people want to spend time with their family and appreciate life for what it is and to be over all thankful, how dare they.

I find myself with a lack of structure once again. Again, the holidays throw the normalcy of things off for a few weeks. It's nice and all, but a person like me needs structure. Waking up, going to work, coming home. Rinse, lather, repeat. Left alone to my own devices, I tend to wonder off and start things and then get bored with them half way through. If a project I'm working on doesn't have a set deadline, then it'll never get done. Something about having pressure that makes me productive.

At the same time, it's nice to have some down time. Catch up on the everyday, mundane things like television and video games, which is something I treasure. And some reading here and there. Since I don't live with my family, I live with an uncle and his family, I don't don't do the dinner around the table things. I'd rather go on a bike ride in the middle of the night than to have to make small talk with folks who think I have no real job or skills because I spend my time infront of a computer or playing video games. Supportive, I know right ?

Still, life goes on and before I know it, things will be as they were once again, considering I'll be in school  Monday through Thursday for an hour or two. Not to mention the need for a job and to continue on ahead with all the work I do and don't do. And of course making sure that I'm up to date on all the lastest chisme that's going around town. That in itself is pretty routine I guess. Just gotta make the best outta it like always.


Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Undocumedia Workshop

If you are in the Los Angeles area, check this out.

Dream Team Los Angeles in Collaboration with Dreamers Adrift will be hosting an Undocumedia workshop.
This workshop is open to current media makers, both undocumented & allies, and to those who are seriously committed to creating and contributing to their own forms of media .
This workshop will focus on strengthening our media skills ( in multiple platforms of media ) and creating a vision of what and where we want to see undocumented youth media.
Priority will be given to those who are part of a group/organization. Space will also be given to those individuals who are not part of an organization, but want to contribute to the creation of undocumented media.
If you are interested in attending please send the following to
Organization ( if you are part of an organization )
What type of media do you create or are interesting in creating ?
What does undocumedia mean to you ?
Space is limited to 30 people, so please submit your information ASAP to secure your attendance to the workshop.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Looking Back Through Old Pictures

Me circa 2006 at Wizard World
Since I got my computer back, I've been recovering things here and there. I've also been rediscovering some of those things as well. Aside from all the music, a ton a pics I've had from bak in the day, which is only a fe years ago really, have me looking back at how things were back then, simpler really. I was definitely in a different point in my life, a non-politicized point that had me going to comic book conventions rather than rallies and conferences.

Some of those pics are pretty awkward since they're pictures of me and former girl friends. Ahhh memories. I do so love reflecting every once in a while, seeing how things were and how even though I may not be where I wanna be, at least I'm not where I use to be. And it's also just fun to look at things and be reminded of where and when I was at that moment, day trip and them move along with things. Ahhh memories.