Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Yes, it's true. Since the faithful day when I was messing around with my dads radio and I discovered KROQ and later and discovered Heavy Metal, I have embraced this music. It really does define who I am to a certain extent only because it's music. Music is life. I'm learning to stop using other people's works to describe my own individuality because my life isn't defined by material things, tv shows or other random junk like that. Of course I love to watch anime and read comics, but as forms of entertainment. Nothing more.
I out grew that phase in my life and have thankfully reached a higher state of mind and understanding. Now more than ever I see how music and interest affected my life, line of thinking, personal attitude and over all way of looking at life. One thing you have to understand about me is that I was always getting picked on in school and I had to put up with that crap because I had no confidence back in those days. I wasn't about to get into a fight anytime soon, but at the same time I used words and jokes to defend myself against others.
I developed a smart ass attitude that to this day is still with me. My friends can attest to that because they're at the butt of my jokes a lot of the times. Growing up like this wasn't fun and messed with my head in certain ways that I'm getting over and getting rid of, along wit a bunch of other nonsense I picked up from society and mainstream media. At its heart, Heavy Metal is about empowerment. Learning to stand up for yourself, having self confidence to accomplish the task before you and kick its fucking ass. Plain and simple. Through out the years this passion has grown deeper and deeper as I am able to understand it and comprehend it at different levels.
Heavy Metal reflects a lot of my personal feelings about life and certain situations in which killing zombies is the only way to make it out alive. I have listened to songs and found myself reminiscing about some childhood experience as if I was there again. That's how powerful and deep this music goes for me. It's my anger, hate and frustrations manifested in sound. Like anything else that's relaxing, Metal relaxes me and helps me clear my train of thought. While I listen to a lot diverse music, Metal will always be my first passion. There's no real way to explain it. Either you get it or you don't. Metal Up your ass !!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
studies class about modern Mexican art and murilsm and we're on our
way to see a magnificent work by one of the big three, orosco.
So after going to one of our class mates house and grubbing on
chilaquiles we made our way. Sitting in the car I get to know some of
my fellow class mates and I end up meeting another DREAMer.
"PNY" was brought here at the age of one and like the rest of us,
she's waiting for the DREAM Act to come to fruition. It was introduced
I to the senate yesterday. I tell her that in just like and tell her
about all the thousands of other students blogging and doing their
part fighting for their dream. We have a lot in common but I'm trying
to convince her to learn everything she can from her mother.
She says she knows a ton of traditional remedies and herbilogy and
it's all passed down from generation to generation. I stress to her
that these are the things that make us who we are, our traditions. We
have to know where we came from in order to know where we're going.
She got the point and says she'll try and learn it, even though she's
still hesatent. She's young and full of energy. She knows a lot and is
really involved, but I gave her a few emails and web sites that she
didn't know about that will help her and her crew. Meeting fellow
DREAMers is always a rare treat. Now that I know I'm gonna help her
out because united we sad and divided we fall.
~ con safos ~
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Being raised in a working class family, I know what it means to work hard in order to get a job done. The values instilled unto me by my parents have helped me prosper in school and in my journalistic endeavors. Having been brought to the U.S. at seven as luggage by my parents, I have spent the majority of my time in my adoptive country trying to find my identity, while acting as a liaison for my family. Having three younger sister helped me realize that I needed to be an example to them by being the first to graduate from high school and attend college. As a child my parents moved around a lot and I was given the unique opportunity to see the best of worst of my adoptive home. Living in Compton, South Central, Watts and East Los Angeles helped me develop mentally and emotionally in spite of the chronic violence and poverty afflicting my past homes. Even though I could have fallen through the systems cracks, the unbreakable bonds I have with my family over powered that. Throughout my life, I have never excelled at anything and always felt insignificant over the fact that as hard as I tried to apply myself, it was never enough. For a span of three years after high school, I worked numerous jobs that included selling fruit, shaved ice and hot dogs in carts, apprentice electrician and store clerk. After working go-nowhere jobs I decided to fulfill my parents prophesy of being a successful educated young man and I enrolled at East Los Angeles College. One of the first classes I took was Journalism 101 in the fall of 2005 and I have never looked back. I have taken to journalism like Superman takes to flying. Since then, I have grown exponentially both in my abilities to be a reporter, but more importantly in developing self-esteem and confidence in my abilities. Through my writing, I have had the opportunity to meet tremendous people who have taken me under their wing and continue to help me excel in my studies and personal development. These and numerous experiences have helped me realize the needed role of Latino/a journalist in the mainstream and independent media. As a blogger, I have seen major media discriminate and almost ignore my neighborhood. Through my blogging on www.laeastide.com, I have written entries about current/social events that have taken place and featured artist and community spaces that are contributing back to the community. I use my personal blog, www.justarandomhero.blogspot.com to chronicle my daily endeavors as an undocumented college student and advocating for various causes like the federal DREAM Act. Blogging has open doors for me and include becoming the Associate Editor for the community newspaper “Brooklyn & Boyle.” As a reporter, I recognize the importance of writing about under represented communities. I use all of these creative outlets to tell stories about my community and my people because if I don’t do it, no one else will.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
for "an unfinished dream" today was the cherry on top. I was being
followed around by three beautiful ladies around school and we talked
about all kinds of things. Mostly me, me, me.
Haha but seriously, I mostly focused on what I do with my blog since
so many undocumented students are taking up arms online and blogging.
My personal musings have taken a life of their own and have opened
doors for me and my writing. I wouldn't be where I'm at not if it
wasn't for some of the attention I garner from writing.
I have a habit of talking to much so of course they loved what I had
to say, which was how superman is the ultimate immigrant, how I
identify with the x-men and other comic characters. I mentioned my
work at school and most importantly, the identity crisis' I have lived
through and the dynamics of it.
It was funny cause everyone was looking at me and hatin' but I just
said I was filming for the real world hahah
Althought I would love to be on that show and curse out my roomies in
Spanish. But none the less the fight continues and everyday is another
struggle. I've been running a gaunlet at school I've been laging it on
post. Stay tuned folks. Lots of things to look forward to.
~ con safos ~
2. Join the DREAM Act facebook cause
3. Change your profile picture to the picture of this group which says "I support the DREAM Act."
4. Send a letter to your representatives in congress and ask everyone you know to do the same using this link:
5. Sign the DREAM Act Petition:
6. Finally, if you want to be the first to know when the DREAM Act is introduced into Congress text "Justice" ("Justicia" for Spanish) to 69866. To learn more about it click here:
<http://www.tampabay .com/news/education / college/article9859 35.ece>
On Thursday, March 26, ask everyone you know to call into Congress in support of the DREAM Act.
Dial 1-800-574-4243 to be connected to your member of Congress and say something similar to the following:
"Hi! My name is ____________ and I am a student at the (your campus) and a voter in your district. I am calling in conjunction with students from across the country to urge our elected officials to support the DREAM Act amendment to expand access to higher education for high school graduates who were brought to the U.S. years ago as undocumented children. I support the DREAM Act because it will increase opportunities for 360,000 qualified high school graduates who are currently denied their dream to an education.
Can I count on _(Elected Official’s Name)__ to support the DREAM Act in this session of congress? Thank you for your time and I look forward to your support."
Senator Feinstein: (202) 224-3841
Senator Boxer:(202) 224-3553
***California Congress Representatives: *
Congress Rep: Xavier Becerra - Central L.A. (202) 225-6235
Congress Rep: Lucille Roybal Allard - East LA (202) 225-1766
*FIND YOUR CONGRESS REP www.house.gov or call (202) 224 3121***
Also ask everyone you know to send a letter to your representatives using this link:
<http://www.change. org/ideas/932/ view_action/ ask_your_congresspe rson_ to_support_the_ dream_act>
Saturday, March 21, 2009
you'll have to google it to find out more, sorry. Any who after
getting outta work today a friend ask me if I was at the protest in
Hollywood. It was agaisnt the war or something. I tend to stay away
from political marches.
A few minutes later I find out that Swlf Help Graphics is hosting
Mexica New Year and that there's Aztec dancers doing their thing over
there. So I make a call and and get the down low and decide to make my
way over there. I grab my board, pick up harley and we skate over there.
Let me tell you, I have never seen soo many dancers at one time all
dancing in harmony as drummers lead them. From early morning till
sundown, it was a marathon of celebrating spring and the Mexica New
Year. The clothes they wear are amazing and jaw dropping.
I saw everything from eagle claws, owls, parrots, jaguars and turtles
used as instruments and as decorations on the dancers. Some are just
breath taking and hard to describe. The beautiful head dresses filled
with feathers are a sight to behold. These dancers gave it there all
for extended periods of time taking breaks when they needed.
It got to the point where they could barely walk because they were
dancing for so long. Just watching them with Harley made me wanna get
up and dance, but alas I have no dancing skills. Still it was
something to see. Pics coming soon.
~ con safos ~
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
any mill because the milk man didn't show up, hence no cafe. It'll be
a busy day to say the least, it always is.
I keep reading about newspaper fading away because of La Crisis and
because mainstream media is making the transition to online, but it's
just growing pains really. Print didn't die with the radio or tv. If
anything it's stronger than ever because the majority of the stuff I
see on tv and online is a bunch of bullshit.
Online journalism is the future and I'm happy to say I'll be a part
of, but I know that newspapers will never fade away. Brooklyn & Boyle
is proof of that. There are millions of stories to be told and only so
many people to write them. I happen to be one of those people. writing
stories from my part of town. If I don't do it, no one else will.
~ con safos ~
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
to go to a comic book convention and then it turned into something else.
So here I am. On my own, living at friends houses in a sleeping bag hustling to survive and carve out a nitch for myself. My life has changed dramatically and I can say that I'm a better person than I use to be. I'm more self conscious of my actions, the people I surround
myself with and of my community. It's like night and day really.
This blog reflects a lot of what I've gone through and the changes I made in my life. To think that in these past three years I have accomplished more than in my 24 years of life. Better late than never right ? But at the same time I feel empty and alone. I look at the
people around me and less than a hand full are people I would call
friends. The rest are just people I know.
I stop and think that if I worked full time things would be a lot easier for me, that's not why I came back. I came back to look after Harley and to finish school. I'm the first generation everything in my family so there's a certain amount of pressure on me. Not only that but I want
to accomplish what my parents set out for me to do, which is to become something more than just another random person in the world.
I know that wasn't their intent, but that's what it's turned into for me. I have to live up to that prophecy and make real the dreams of my parents. Even though there are times like today in which I feel like a failure, there are more days in which I know I'm making my parents proud.
It's frustrating when things don't change for the better when we want them to, but that's the way life is.
I'm still learning to unbrain wash what has been instilled in me by society and pop culture. I notice that I focus too much on what others do when I should worry about myself and loved ones. My perception on things is also changing for the better and everyday is a new
adventure. Life just becomes a little too routine and inner bored. It's been three years since I left to make it on my own with the help of friends and loved ones. I have accomplished a lot of amazing things I thought I would never do.
Now as I look toward the future I can only imagine what else I'm going
to accomplish and who I'll meet in my travels. Here's to another year.
~ con safos ~
friends from around the block. People who smoke and make the police
think twice about stopping and searching them. It was in the evening
and all of a sudden I see a car drive around the corner.
Someone pops out of the passanger window and everyone starts running
because the guy is getting to shoot at us with machine gun. Everyone
scatters but I happen to run in the wrong direction and get shot up
all along the side of my back.
I can hear the chunks of flesh being evisarated from me as I fall to
the ground all slow-mo like in front of someones door step. I look
inside and I see familiar faces and I look to them and ask for help.
They stand there in shock of what they're seeing and freeze.
I tap on the window with my bloody hand and continue to ask people for
help. No one comes. I then grab my phone and beging to record my last
words. I manage to say my name and a few thoughs of regret.
Suddenly I feel my mind fading away. It felt as if I was going to
sleep. My eyes getting heavier and my mind wondering off into
blackness. I struggle to stay away and try to control my breathing,
but to no avail. The eternal
Darkness calls out to me and I answer back. I suddenly felt like a
weight was lifted from my shoulders and I accepted the darkness.
Blissfully enjoying the eternal sleep.
I wake up in a cold sweat and realize that it's time for me to go to
work. That idea of sleeping forever suddenly because more inviting.
~ con safos ~
Friday, March 13, 2009
I know I need to stop eating like this but I can't help it sometimes.
I don't have to work today, which lifts my spirits.
I decided to grab some desayuno before I go do work today as a guest
speaker at one of my old high schools. I'll be talking to the class
about journalism and how as an undocumented resident, I use the
Internet and new media to talk about my life and helping to change
peoples perceptions about undocumented college students.
This is the second time I'm going, but this time I'm going in solo.
Last time aroud am x and my bff tagged along. Should be a good time.
Expect a post. Till then I'm going to enjoy another beautiful day here
The sun is shinning, birds are chirping and the streets are alive with
the daily hussle and bussle of everyday life. Today is a very rare day
and I'm gonna savor all of it.
~ con safos ~
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
For as long as I have been walking Harley, full moons have taken on special meaning and significance. I already have a fascination and love for them and when I started walking with Harley, there was something about the nights, like tonight, with full moons that just made me forget about everything that's going on in life. For those 45 minutes I was completely oblivious of my problems, problems with friends and everything else happening around me. Under the full moon, it's just me and Harley sharing each other's company and taking in the cold and uplifting breeze that comes from the cemetery.
The moon gives off such a radiant glow late at night that it over powers the street lamps. I see it shine through leafless tree branches as if i was in some horror movie about to be attacked by a werewolf. With Harley, I feel completely safe and protected because I know she has my back and I got hers. Nothing in the world can separate me from that dumb, cow of a dog. Lately I've been noticing how more and more white hair is showing up on her chin. Like me and my white hairs, time is catching up with us. I'll be 25 this year and that's a thought that scares the crap outta me. Time is passing by too fast and before I know it, I'll be wondering what the hell did I do with it ? What did I accomplish, but most of all, what did I do t help improve the lives of those around me.
I've been thinking too much about too many things and I'm getting in one of those self-analyzing moods where I'm just being an ass hole for better or worse. Usually i just keep to myself because I don't have the patience to deal with peoples idiocy like I normally would and entertain their insipid and pointless ideas and conversations. Times like this I just feel like sitting on the steps of my house, Harley coming around behind me nudging me to put my arm around her as she lies down with me. We both take a deep breath and let out a simultaneous sigh. We look at each other and then we turn and look up at the full moon and think how beautiful it is. It's a Harley Full Moon.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Saturday, March 07, 2009
heart, on the contrary. It's literally about my heart and how it
hasn't been feeling right the last couple of days. I can feel it
pumping irregularly like when you take a big bite outta something and
you can feel the food go down your food hole, well that's how my heart
feels. Like it's choking down something.
I really don't like this feeling. In fact is scaring the shit outta
me. Seriously. Electricity and poison bugs two other things that freak
me out FYI. I have no one to blame but myself and maybe my parents
just a tiny bit for exposing me to so much great food. Just this
weekend I've had a torta de pastor, burrito, posole, tamales, popusa,
pancakes with cajeta and arroz con leche. Damn I'm a fatty.
Buy this is nothing new of course. I've been eating like this my
entire life. Going to taco stands and trucks was a regular thing when
I was a kid and late at night too. I still have those habits and even
though I know I need to stop, I just can't. It's not that I don't have
the will power, it's just that my life is so dysfunctional that I'm
not in a position to be picky about what I eat. If there's food I'm
there, plain and simple
It's no suprise these habits are catching up either because doctor
visits were a luxury my parents couldn't provide. I had to get my
annaculations at free clinics when ever they were free and my mom,
along with others took advantage of it. I have been to a doctor,
dentist etc.... I'm more than ten years and that's a scary thought for
I can only wonder how many things are wrong with me physically that I
don't know about. Health care isn't affordable or available to me,
that I know of. I have a hard enough time just trying to survive let
alone watch out for myself. I follow the don't fix it till it's broken
way of life. Taking premature measures isn't like me. I'm gonna cut
back on the soul food, but I'm just scared of what can happen, but
P.S. If something does happen then it was good while it lasted. I give
all my stuff to my dog Harley. I know she'll male use of'em. If I
don't post anything new, well them, yeah.
~ con safos ~
Friday, March 06, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Leo Límon, Eloy Torres and Brandy Healy, daughter of kick ass muralist
Wayne Healy. At one point I was star struck in meeting these artist
who have lived rich lives and created a plethera of art admired by
I sit here and think that even though I have a profound and deep love
for art, sometimes the routine becomes mundane and cliché. I do my
best to avoid becoming burned out on this because there's so much more
to be seen. I'm realizing that in my Chicano studies class. I love
The cookie cutter routine is dangerous because comfert and routine
lead to dullness and obscurity. We all gotta streach ourselves and
push what we are capable of. That's why I'm glad I live the way I do
sometimes. It keeps me on my toes and sharp. Damn I need to read more
books so I can contextualize what I see and be able to better describe
~ con safos ~
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
~ con safos ~
So yeah...been kinda busy with life to write anything worth while, so I'd figure I'd do the lazy thing and recycle something. Dumbs things about a dumb person. 25 of them to be exact. You will be a little dumbmer after reading this useless info so enjoy hahah.
1. I have two last names
2. I've been told I have the mind of an artist on several occasions
3. "Blank" is a fertile area, or a field in a fertile area, common in Spain, in which a variety of common vegetables and fruit trees, especially lemons, are cultivated for family consumption and sale. Typically, huertas belonging to different people are in groups around a river or other water source because of the amount of irrigation required. (That explains why I'm short and brown)
4. I once stayed with a dog lost dog for an hour waiting for the dog catcher to come get him, They never did.
5. I've been sleeping in a sleeping bag for the last two years.
6. I don't know how to drive, not like I can get a license anyway.
7. I love stickers
8. I have it in my head that I'm going to die young for some reason
9. I once put my thumb on a car cigar lighter t find out how it feels
10. I had "sticky" fingers when I was a kid
11. I end up wearing black a lot because I never realized I bought shirts that were black. That and I have no fashion sense.
12. I love anime
13. If I was a woman I would be an ugly woman to say the least
14. I've had peanut butter and jelly hot dogs thanks to La Crisis
15. Iguana soup really does taste a lot like chicken soup
16. I have captain americas shield sown on my paintball jerseys chest and spider-man on both sides
17. "It's only funny when I'm not hurt" is the first thing I said after I almost broke my right ankle doing a jump on a dirt bike.
18. I've been dumpster diving on more than one occasion
19. My ideas and concepts are so farfetched that I would be deemed insane for thinking like that.
20. I love eye candy.
21. I have three younger sisters
22. In a parallel universe I would be know as Peter Parker
23. I learned english and american pop culture by watching the Simpsons and tv sitcoms when I was a kid.
24. I cried when I saw both Babe movies
25. My last girlfriend tried to gentrify me
Monday, March 02, 2009
...Saturday kicked my ass so bad I'm feeling like crap that got runned
over, put in a brown paper bag, put on an old grumpy mans door step,
set aflame and stomped out viciously. Yeah I'm tired.
However, as I'm sitting here with a plate of pancakes in front of me,
I would love some cajeta to go with them, and talking to my bestest
buddies in the world yaking it up, I got late Christmas presents. We
don't follow tradition mind you, so we do our own thing. Ghetto vegan
gave me the card in the picture and a cool shirt, thanks !!! My other
friend gave me a tape recorder so I can hear my voice and feel good
But what a great way to start the week right ?! Great friends, ok food
and gifts. Now I don't really feel as crappy anymore and a little
reenergized in taking on the week. I can't wait for the Watchmen to
come out. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff happening so stayed tuned. Same
bat-time, same bat-channel.
~ con safos ~