Thursday, July 30, 2009

[Insert sad break up song here]

No I'm not going to write what happened you weirdos. There's enough
novelas out there. Or better yet go watch that movie 500 days of
summer and you'll know exactly what happened. But anyway yes I'm alone
again yes it sucks and yes I'm depressed now so fuck off. Course
that's not how life works. Stupid life for jerking my chain around and
then showing me that when a window closes a door opens.

On my way back home a man ask me if the goldline would take him to
Orange county. I explain to himthe logistics of his trek andwe get to
talkin'. Turns out he moved back to L.A. after going through a divorce
with his wife. Turns out that while he was on vacation visiting the
Phillipins (sp) she found some other other vato and screwed him over.
He has two kids and after that shit happened he went into horrible
depression. So bad he had to take meds.

He said that when he first came to L.A. He got a job working at a 7-11
working 14 hr days 6 days a week. He gotpetitioned and got his papers.
I didn't know 7-11 did that. So he went back to his country to
regroup, got a life going over there again and found someone else. The
same thing happened over there too but this time around his wife got
the sancho to beat him to death. Least he tried after he showed me the
stitches scar from him hair line.

The while time I was trying to help him find bus routes to his friends
house in OC so he could get there. Because he said he was from
Washington I thought he was an out of towner, which he was because he
didn't know how to get there so I helped him. That's how I got to know
him. We got as far as union station because the last metro link to the
oc left for the day. Customer service sucks in the evening cause
everyone goes home and if you are lost you are FUCKED. In the end he
ended going back to his house and not visiting his friend, but he's
looking for work. He's trying to make it own his own again. Rebuilding
his life for the third time.

He thanked me for helping him and said he got lucky for meeting the
right person. In our little adventure 3 more people asked me for help
or change to get home. Seems everyone needs help finding and getting
home. I'm still digesting what happened to me today. Life went from
another regular day to shit to back to normal again. It's weird
because I didn't think twice about helping the guy. I know what it's
like to be lost and looking for directions so I sypathize with him and
helped.

It's weird to hear how this man has gone through soo much and hasto
rebuild his life for the 3rd time, yet I haven't even tried doing it
once. I suck. But that's a whole nother rant. Point is no matter how
bad things get, life goes on if yiu want it to go on. It's what you
make of it really. It's funny cause when he told me his story he said
he had the saddest story ever and I grinned and chuckled saying "I
don't know about that. I think I may have you beat on that one hahaha"
So yeah. Something for me to realize and think about. If R can do it
with good old fashion hard work why can't I ? I have no excuse for not
doing it ? After all he went through, he still stands on his own two
feet. A man if I ever met one.
~ con safos ~

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Liar

Quarter Life Crisis

That head line is totally appropiate because that's my dilema is
about, dinero, mula, capital, money. For those of us that don't have
it, having more of it would solve our problems. Least we like to think
so but I know that wouldn't be the case. All my life $$ has been the
be all end all solution to life problems, least that's what my parents
tried to tell me. "Mijo, tu tienes que hir ala escuela para estudiar
para que tengas un trabajo bueno y no handes comonusotros,
rompiendonos la madre todos Los dias para sacar de comer." To this day
when ever I say that my life priority isn't about money, family and
relatives sigh and tell me that I'm stupid and ignorant because I
don't place value in the ownership of things. Fuck them.

I listened to my parents and I learned that working just to have $$
will get you no where, miserable, lonely, heart broken and empty. I'm
glad I learned to tone down my need for material things. To know and
understand the difference between things I need and things I want. Yet
$$ is always a problem, specially for people like us, waitingfor the
DREACT Act to pass. Lack of $$ holds some of us back because we can't
get those high paying jobs so we hustle and make the best out of it.
Yet, for me, I hate doing that. I've been doing it for soo long now
that I don't want to do it anymore. Course there are people that will
interprit husling as begging, but fuck you and and fuck them.

Two years I have been relieying on the help and kindness of strangers
and it's hindering me. I'm not independent. I can't standon my own two
feet without asking someone for help. At 25 there are some that have
accomplished more than I have, but that doesn't matter. I'm living my
life the way I want to and I love it. I love myself and I love the
fact that I make people question who I am or make assumptions about
me. That's because they see me fromthe outside rather than the inside.

My goal is to help others in whatever way I can. I learned that I can
be selfless and that on it's own is worthmore than any $$ bill. I
realize that yes, I need to get my chickens in line before I can
truely help others. How I'll do it remains to be seen but I questionit
because I k ow that independence means more working and less doing.
Less doing of things that bring joy to my life, less time to write,
less time for school and less time for life. It's all about balance
and at 25, I need to learn to balance once again. How cab I help
others when I can't even help myself ? But one thing is for sure, I'm
not here to make $$. I'm here to tell stories and care for animals. If
I'm broke but able to write and look after animals, then I would be
the happiest man on earth.

~ con safos ~

Monday, July 27, 2009

Contradictions in expectations

I think it's safe to say that anyone reading this will know what I'm talking about because you've probably gone through the same thing. Confronting the expectations our families, loved ones and friends place on us for whatever reason. I know that parents, like my own, place great expectations because I have opportunities they themselves never had and therefor I have to be able to accomplish great things. Yet with my family, I find that these expectations are still there but not only do they hinder me at times, they completely contradict themselves at the same time. They don't lead by example. My parents never got involved with my education like other parents would. As long as I was going to school and not getting in trouble I was good. Even after I graduated high school and my father kept pressuring me to go to college, I ignored him. That and because I wasn't aware of AB 540.

My experience has been that you are measured by how much money you make. No matter how much I hear differently about not being materialistic, helping others and giving of ones self, $$$ always seems to be the difference maker. I live in a capitalist country so it shouldn't be a surprise right ? We have to be realistic and man up to the way things are. We have to make a choice for ourselves. Do we go along with the flow and become part of the over all ..... "system" and make a good living for ourselves or do we go against the grain and defy the "system?" Make it out on your own on your own terms free from the "system" and everything that comes from it? It's all open to interpretation and an individuals view of their world. Society and people acknowledge others by having certain things and accomplishing certain things as well. Money and things are the majority of what people place value in. I have always been proud of the fact that I never conformed to the degree others have. Having lived outside of it and trying to fit in all my life made me realize that I don't belong there or there or there and definitely not there. No where really. I'm perfectly comfortable in the space I have created for myself. Free from expectations of others. Free from the pressures of the world. Dancing to the beat of my own out of tune horn. I'm glad I finally reached a level of intellect and consciousness to realize it and be proud of it.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Up coming DREAM Act events

FYI this is my 202 blog post. Sweet. These two events are coming up, so help spread the word and repost as needed.

Tour de Dreams Bike Ride

Starting on August 14 and ending August 22, AB540 Student groups students from California's distinguished colleges will ride their bicycles 511 miles from UC Los Angeles's Campus to the University of California, Berkeley's Sproul Plaza to raise money for student scholarships in their respective campuses.

This will be our first annual ride where a group of dedicated students will be riding their bicycles through the California Coastline and some of California's distinguished College campuses and arrive at UCLA. Our goal this year is to raise enough money to be able to maintain and/or establish scholarships for low-income students in California. Your donation will help change the lives of a young college bound student and to push us to strive for bigger changes and accomplishments in the up coming years. Anyone interested in doing the ride can sign up through Dream Activist at the following link

http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=cHBqUlJnSkx4UlR0OS1xenF0T1F0Vnc6MA

The following list of locations is the most updated schedule of locations that we will be passing with in the Tour De Dreams:

August 14th - UC Los Angeles to CAL State Northridge

August 15th - CAL State Northridge to Emma Woods State Park

August 16th - Emma Woods State Park to UC Santa Barbara

August 17th - UC Santa Barbara to Santa Maria, CA

August 18th- Santa Maria, CA to San Simeon State Park

August 19th - San Simeon State Park to Pfeiffer Big Sur

August 20th - Pfeiffer Big Sur to UC Santa Cruz

August 21st - UC Santa Cruz to CAL State San Jose

August 22nd - CAL State San Jose to UC Berkeley

If you would like to donate any monetary funds for the Tour De Dreams Bike Ride, please click on the following link:
http://tourdedreams formiguel. chipin.com/ tour-de-dreams- support


Dream Team L.A. Open House

We want to cordially invite you to The DREAM Team LA Open House on
August 5th, 2009 at 6:30-8:30pm at the Downtown Labor Center:

675 S. Park View St
Los Angeles, CA

The DREAM Team LA (DTLA) open house will discuss the future of the
DREAM Act, what DTLA has been doing and our vision for the passage of
the DREAM Act.

We invite everyone who is dedicated to and interested in passing the
DREAM Act. Please come and meet the members of DTLA and share your
thoughts and ideas to pass the DREAM Act.

Learn how you can get involved in passing the DREAM Act!

Food and beverages will be provided.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact Marilyn Corrales
at (909) 649-2295 or
marilyncorrales@gmail.com


Youth Conference

On behalf of the Orange County DREAM Team and the Labor Council for Latin American Advancement (LCLAA),I would like to invite you to participate in LCLAA*s RegionalLeadership Development Conference - *Building Leadership from Within* in Orange County, CA.

This event will be taking place on Saturday, August 1st 2009, at UFCW Local 324: 8530 Stanton Avenue, Buena Park, CA. 90620 from The Labor Council for Latin American Advancement, LCLAA, is the home of the Latino Labor Movement.

LCLAA is a national Latino organization representing the interests of over 1.7 million Latino trade unionists throughout the country and the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico. Let me give you a little brief description of our youth conference. We
are hosting a FREE youth leadership conference with a focus on the DREAM Act. LCLAA is working with the Orange County Dream Team in order to provide undocumented youth with a great workshop in which they will learn about how labor can be a great ally in movement building. We want to have an exchange of ideas between labor leaders, educators, political
and community organizers and students about alliance building and at the same time introduce them to the Labor Movement.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Another regular day

"This is to remind you what you are capable of" is what my gf wrote on the box. I'm humbled and honored to know and have the kind of friends that I have in my life. Not only that, I have the best gf in the world. Yet, over the last couple of years when I learned to to put such a great emphasis on material possessions, I realized that celebrating my b-day wasn't a big deal to begin with me. I go all out for friends and family but when it comes to me, I keep it on the down low. I don't need anything but of course I want things. I have more than I could ever want or need and the universe takes care of me. If I really need something it will provide sure enough. To me, my birthday is just another regular day. A day to reflect on the last 25 years of my life and to think where I'll be in another 25 years from now. All I did today was wake up late, messed around online, got some tempura, played some old school arcade games,(ANY KING OF FIGHTERS FANS OUT THERE ?!?) and went to the Dream Team L.A. meeting like I do every week. Course when I walked in I was taken by surprised when they sang happy b-day to me and brought me some cup cakes. Aww I was touched. My partner in outreach and recruitment looked out for me. She's awesome. None the less it was another good day.

Monday, July 20, 2009

What does it feel like

I was having a conversation earlier tonight. I was asked about what am
I doing to better my situation. How can I look on the bright side of
things and maybe find some loop hole. During that conversation I
explained how I felt the day I found out there wasn't anything I could
do about my situation. I made an appointment and I went to the
immigration offices. I waited in line with a number until I could talk
to someone and I explained to them my situation. His reply was that
there's wasn't I could do besides the big three job sponcership,
family or getting married. No loop hole, nothing.

I went into depression that day and it lasted a good while. That was 3
years ago. Nothing has changed. During that conversion I also
described what I felt like that dayand the days after it. Doing
research and asking questions got me no where. It just made things
worse. I felt like a caged bird that is put next to a window. A Hawk
confined to a cage so tiny that I can't even spread my wings out.
Tortured by the cool breeze of the wind that I once felt under my
wings. That's what it feels like to be me. That's what it's like to be
an undocumented student. You know better yet you are forbidden from
knowing it's pleasures. We live in a frozen world which we can see but
never touch. We would trade a thousand of our frozen years for your
worse day.

~ con safos ~

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Potential

Intersting turn of events as of late. Through some audacious means, my
father has been granted residency and can work here in the U.S. now.
Granted that his brother has been petitioninghim for the last couple
years but he has it now and after a recent phone conversation with him
I realized something, the wasted potential in that very act. But
first, some background info.

For those of you knew to this, my family has been living out in the
Midwest for the last two years. Snow is beautiful. They carved out a
little niche for themselves there by opening up a restaurant, but with
everything going sour, job loss in the town, people not spending $
anymore, they had to close up.

Fourtunately, my sister has Bren helping and while things are bad
right now, they're still doing good, hence my beef with my father. The
man who has the midas touch some how loses everything he has worked so
hard to build and established. It's like he likes to struggle. He
needs it. It gives him purpose and it drives him be ause without it he
can't feel contemp. He can't be happy.

During our conversation he tells me to help him look for work here, to
look in the papers and ask around. Maybe he can pick up bring a
security gaurs again, something he use to do. At that moment I
realized something in my mind, "why don't you go out and get a
regular ? Stop trying to hussel and mess around with cockamany schemes
as if we're on a tv show." But that says it all. He doesn't know
anything beyond that life. Normal to him is struggeling and busting
his ass for nothing until he builds something substantial.

I realized that because he has no education what so ever, he doesn't
like taking orders from anyone and can't stand to work for others, he
can't go get a regualr job. Whatever that is. He has to make things
happen on his own other wise things won't click. Things won't work or
happen. To think that here we are in this situation. My father is
looking for and has the means to make things happen but he doesn't.
He's getting older and his body aches but that will ne et stop a man
of his caliber.

To think that his residency will almost. Be of no value to him other
tha. Getting permits and IDs. He's to proud to go on welfare or
anything like that so you freaks don't need to worry about my family
leeching of the country. Still, what I would do if I had that
residency. Things would be a lot easier and I would be able to
accomplish SO much more, but alas the fates have something else in
store for me. I may not be able to understand or comprehend the path I
an on, but I know it's the path I need to be on. Like him the struggle
is part of who I am and what I do. It guides me and points me in the
right direction when I lose it. Through struggle and suffering I have
gained more than I could ever hope to and I am greatful for that. I'm
greatful for my dad and his progress, but I still can't help think
about it. Where resources are going and why things are the way they
are. I may not understand it now, but down te road I will.


~ con safos ~

Thursday, July 16, 2009

You have to

It says on the fine print, even if you are undocumented you STILL have to sign up for it. Why ? so they can find you in case there's a draft and because even though you may be undocumented, the powers that be still have a want and need to keep a tab ON EVERYONE.I finally sent mine out earlier this week for two reasons, because I was at the post office and because I finally know better and understand. I understand that you have to do things even though you may not want to, but sooner or later you will have to do them. If a male doesn't register before 26, they'll risk the ability to apply for citizenship, jobs, financial aid and things like that. Of course we all know why this is so but none the less, somethings have to be done. You have to go through motions and realize that everyone is equal. It may be for something most people appose, war, but you still have to do it none the less.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Talking to the kids



Look at them. Bright eyed and full of hope. Unaware of some of the worlds plights. Stuck in theirown little world and today I was partof it. Afriekd from dream team LA needed help in a student panel she was coordinating and I offered to help out along with 3 other people.

The main goal was to raise awareness about undocumented students in the educational pipeline and how ab 540 students don't have to go at it alone. They can turn to their peers for help because it's ok to ask for help. So the best way to get that message across was to talk a out ourselves and our experiences.

Using superman as an analogy, I explained the tremendous potential found in students just like in superman. I said somethings about myself to get across the point that it's ok to be open about your status to certain people and to ask for help. I don't know if they got the message but I'll ask my friend about it. Either way, I'm always glad to share my story and experiences with others just to raise awareness of the DREAM Act. I got a free lunch out of it some I'm happy :-D

~ con safos ~

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Free your mind

Death is only the beginning of life beyond the physical Word.
World that doesn't care about anyone or any full of apathy.
Apathy that surrounds the people in power who have control of the masses.
Masses that idolize empty heroes of vanity and propel them to god like proportions.
Proportions that are always skewed because the hungry go hungry and the fat get fatter.
Fatter than life because they have control of the few that starve for them.
Them are those who don;t care for anyone beyond themselves, hoarding everything they can grasp until they choke the living life out of it.
It is something everyone strides for but never reaches because they don't know what it is.
Is something that may seem like their life's work when in reality it's all one lie completely unaware of it all their lives.
Lives that are spent chasing the rabbit down the white hole, empty and hollow because they never realized what they really wanted out of life, cheating themselves of its beauty.
Beauty that is in the eye of the beholder, subject to criticized and ridiculed because beauty is discriminatory and equal for none.
None of you will ever understand anything that is beyond your understanding until you remove the vail put in front of your eyes by the world, your parents and the books you read.
Read what the world says and you'll understand that it can be honestly cruel and unforgiving.
Unforgiving because no one else showed mercy unto you in a past life.
Life that breaths through the streets as a street vendor sells the elixirs of life in several different colorful flavors to kids getting out of school.
School that is really an institution to program you how to think and live as another autonomous automaton putting your nose to the grind stone.
Stone that will eventually wear down after generations chip away at its integrity.
Integrity that can be easily bought and sold in an instant because people do not value it any more.
More is what the Artful Dodger tells kids not to say when they're at the soup kitchen.
Kitchen full of life because it feeds us all in the end.
End is death.

“Dinosauria, We” by Charles Bukowski



Born like this
Into this
As the chalk faces smile
As Mrs. Death laughs
As the elevators break
As political landscapes dissolve
As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
As the oily fish spit out their oily prey
As the sun is masked
We are
Born like this
Into this
Into these carefully mad wars
Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
Into bars where people no longer speak to each other
Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings
Born into this
Into hospitals which are so expensive that it’s cheaper to die
Into lawyers who charge so much it’s cheaper to plead guilty
Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed
Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes
Born into this
Walking and living through this
Dying because of this
Muted because of this
Castrated
Debauched
Disinherited
Because of this
Fooled by this
Used by this
Pissed on by this
Made crazy and sick by this
Made violent
Made inhuman
By this
The heart is blackened
The fingers reach for the throat
The gun
The knife
The bomb
The fingers reach toward an unresponsive god
The fingers reach for the bottle
The pill
The powder
We are born into this sorrowful deadliness
We are born into a government 60 years in debt
That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt
And the banks will burn
Money will be useless
There will be open and unpunished murder in the streets
It will be guns and roving mobs
Land will be useless
Food will become a diminishing return
Nuclear power will be taken over by the many
Explosions will continually shake the earth
Radiated robot men will stalk each other
The rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms
Dante’s Inferno will be made to look like a children’s playground
The sun will not be seen and it will always be night
Trees will die
All vegetation will die
Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men
The sea will be poisoned
The lakes and rivers will vanish
Rain will be the new gold
The rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind
The last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases
And the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition
The petering out of supplies
The natural effect of general decay
And there will be the most beautiful silence never heard
Born out of that.
The sun still hidden there
Awaiting the next chapter.

A word of advice


In the time of your life, live so that in that good time there shall be no ugliness or death for yourself or for any life that your life touches.
Seek goodness everywhere and when it is found, bring it out of the hiding place and let it be free and unashamed.
Place in matter and in flesh the least of the values, for these are the things that hold death and must pass away.
Discover in all things that which shines and is beyond corruption.
Encourage virtue and whatever heart it may have driven into secrecy and sorrow by the shame and terror of this world.
Ignore the obvious, for it is unworthy of the clear eye and the kindly heart.
Be the inferior to no man, nor of any man be the superior.
Remember that every man is a variation of yourself, no man's guilt is yours, nor is any man's innocence a thing apart.
Despise evil and ungodliness, but not men of ungodliness or evil, these understand. Have no shame in being kindly and gentle, but if the time comes in the time of your life to kill, kill and have no regret.
In the time of your life, live so that, in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite delight and mystery of it

Monday, July 06, 2009

Mexican Consulate of Los Angeles

Earlier today I blogged about being at the Mexican Consulate and renewing my I.D. because it expired. I mostly wrote about how I felt at that moment and it was a good way of getting that frustration out at that moment, but now that I'm at the house and falling asleep because I'm working as much as I can to have money, I'm behind on stuff. So I'd figure id write about my experience for those of you who will never experience such a thing and for those who have.
First things first. When you step through those gates you are literally in Mexico because the consulate is considered Mexican soil. At least that's what I think is going on. I never fully checked into that nor will because I could careless really. So yeah, I get patted down and asked what am I doing there, you tell them and they tell you to get in line. Yes, that line in the picture. The one where you have to stand in the middle of the fucking parking lot behind that stupid truck sucking on exhaust fumes and getting baked by the sun. You wait and stand there for a good 30 to 45 minutes until you move up on the line. Through out the lines, people from the consulate walk around telling people what they need in order to get their I.D. and or their passport. Immediately they get rushed with questions about if certain documents are accepted in lue of the required birth certificate and proof of current address. This helps filter out people who don't have the proper paper work and makes the line a little shorter. It sucks though when you see people having to leave because they don't have all the right documents. Happened to me earlier this year. That's why I had my sister mail me my birth certificate.

The whole I was there I noticed how people carried their paper work in envelopes, folders or just out in the open like it was nothing. It's all they have to prove to the consulate that they are who they say they are. It's literally they're lively hood and if they were to loose it, they wouldn't be able to do anything. There's all kinds of people here on a daily basis and the place is full everyday from opening to closing. Parents bring their kids either because they don't have someone to look after them or because they might need them to help them with the paper work because they can't read or write themselves. While in line, I saw a young lady go up to the table where they look through your documents to see that you have everything in order and she did. She was a high school student and was using her high school I.D. The only problem is that she needed to bring her official transcripts from the school so they could verify that she's a student. That's as far as she got today.
Even though there are signs and people explaining what is needed, there are some who are completely oblivious to what is going on and end up taking space wasting their and everyone else's time. Throughout my time in line I could see the frustration people had with the workers because they would ignore them when they tried to ask them a simple question. They would get frustrated because they've been waiting in line all morning or because they think they're special and need to move to the front of the line for what ever reason they think will get them to the front. Patience in not a virtue the average person has. That's why I looked through the consulates website earlier before I left to make sure I had everything. That's how I saw the $27 fee for getting the card other wise I would have been screwed.
Once inside you get x-ray'ed by this huge machine and you wait in line for copies of your docs. The consulate has taken measures since they had a hostage situation a few years back that ended with the guy getting killed. There's some high stakes drama when people's livelihood are on the line. So after waiting in line outside, you get to wait in line inside, with the AC.
Did I mention that I was SUPER HUNGRY and SLEEPY the entire time I was there ? Well I was and the only thing that cheered me up was the fact that I was number 666 in line. Hell yeah, how do you like them apples eh ? It worked out too because I was wearing a Metallica shirt too. Score. It all went to hell when i saw the number they were at, 611. So I took a two hour nap and waited for my number to be called. Except for the hunger, that nap was pretty alright.

From there, this cute chick double checked my info and processed it. I had an easier time talking to her in English than in Spanish because I was so drowsy I wasn't really paying attention to anything lol. So from there I forked over my $27, took a picture and waited for my card to be made. No waiting two to four weeks for me hahahah, but having to be there ALL FUCKING DAY sucks ass man. I tell ya, when I left I grabbed something to eat and headed home. I can only imagine what'll happen when I go to get my ITIN. Geez. So there you have it folks, that's what it's like to go to the Mexican consulate and get/renew your I.D. that'll let you get into clubs, bars, get a bank account, buy a house, own a car and get insurance for it, uhh pay utility bills, enroll your kids in school all that stuff a California I.D. does. I would post up a picture of my I.D. but you never know who reads your stuff. Bunch of weirdos out there. You know who you are freaks.

Blogging from Mexico

Technically I am in Mexico at this very moment sitting down waiting in line. Waiting in line for what you may ask ? Well in line to renew my Mexican Gov. I.D. at the Mexican consulate. So technically I'm in LA, but on official Mexican soil and that is the best way to explain the dynamics of this uhh .... day. This is ID is what i use for going out or any paper work that requires one. You can take out loans and open bank accounts with it too. More or less it's just an ID.

Anywho, it's been five years since I first got mine and when I stop and think about everything that has happened in those last five, I'm not the same person I use to be. Course I'm older, wiser and thinner LOL but the person i was then and am now, it's night and day. I'm proud of all the accomplishments and strides I have made in these last five years. Time just flies by.

Nonetheless I hate having to come here. I hate having to wait in line next to a FUCKING TRUCK SUCKING ON EXHAUST FUMES WHILE BAKING IN THE FUCKING SUN. I hate having to wait in line only to wait somemore inside because there are soo many people here. It's 10:50 a.m. and I didn't eat anything yet so I'm cranky that and lack of sleep but nothing new there.

I came by earlier in the year when my friend was renewing hers but because I didn't have my birthcerticicate I couldn't get it. So here I am now, waiting in line, hungry, cranky and spending the rest of the day. And I still gotta front $27 sheesh


~ con safos ~

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Hodio

It never ends really. The hate from others. True hate. Not discontemp
or malice, but hate. Hodio. I see it online all the time and have
never experienced it personally. I'm thankful for that but others
aren't. They have died because of the hate people have for
undocumented residents, themselves and anyone else better off than
them really. Hate comes from with in whether it's taught, seen or
learned.

It knows no boundries and can penetrate the furthest levels of our
being. I see the hate online and I'll admit, it gets too be too much
sometimes. When you see 76 people leaving their hate rants on stories,
one can't help but feel as if the comments are personal attacks on
ones being, family and friends.

I leave comments countering their hate but sometimes I ask myself if
it'll make a difference, dropping a penny in a well of hate. It does
make a difference. It may be hard to deal with the hate, but through
understanding and conversation we can adress it. Look at it and do
something about it. Really all that hate stems from somewhere deep in
that person.

A certain unhappyness and vindictiveness over powers them. If they can
be happy why should someone else right ? It's sad to know there are
people out there. I don't wish them harm because I understand things
better than they can. It's in that understanding that I'm able to
tolerate hate from others. I'm human and I tend to hate from time to
time, but I do my best to place myself back into place. There's enough
hate out there as it is. If I can bring joy to anyone any how, well
then, things are looking up.

~ con safos ~