Monday, July 27, 2009

Contradictions in expectations

I think it's safe to say that anyone reading this will know what I'm talking about because you've probably gone through the same thing. Confronting the expectations our families, loved ones and friends place on us for whatever reason. I know that parents, like my own, place great expectations because I have opportunities they themselves never had and therefor I have to be able to accomplish great things. Yet with my family, I find that these expectations are still there but not only do they hinder me at times, they completely contradict themselves at the same time. They don't lead by example. My parents never got involved with my education like other parents would. As long as I was going to school and not getting in trouble I was good. Even after I graduated high school and my father kept pressuring me to go to college, I ignored him. That and because I wasn't aware of AB 540.

My experience has been that you are measured by how much money you make. No matter how much I hear differently about not being materialistic, helping others and giving of ones self, $$$ always seems to be the difference maker. I live in a capitalist country so it shouldn't be a surprise right ? We have to be realistic and man up to the way things are. We have to make a choice for ourselves. Do we go along with the flow and become part of the over all ..... "system" and make a good living for ourselves or do we go against the grain and defy the "system?" Make it out on your own on your own terms free from the "system" and everything that comes from it? It's all open to interpretation and an individuals view of their world. Society and people acknowledge others by having certain things and accomplishing certain things as well. Money and things are the majority of what people place value in. I have always been proud of the fact that I never conformed to the degree others have. Having lived outside of it and trying to fit in all my life made me realize that I don't belong there or there or there and definitely not there. No where really. I'm perfectly comfortable in the space I have created for myself. Free from expectations of others. Free from the pressures of the world. Dancing to the beat of my own out of tune horn. I'm glad I finally reached a level of intellect and consciousness to realize it and be proud of it.