Saturday, December 10, 2011

Life Doesn't Ask For Papers

I can help step back as of late to everything that's going on around and see that folks are maturing, getting older, settling down and doing those everyday things like getting married and having children. While the majority of my thoughts have and always will revolve around my identity living outside the system and as an activist trying to be a part of it, what that means and how there is a never ending fight for human and workers' rights;  there are everyday things that don't click inside my mind until I find myself congratulating friends on their blessings.

For everything that we go through as undocumented, working class, people of color.... the idea of friends getting married and having kids is both foreign and wondrous. Not all of us are going to be undocumented for the rest of our lives. We're all going to move ahead with our lives one way or another. I guess it's that, since I have these kind of conversations about the future and what'll it'll be like. Romanticizing the idea of "when I have my papers....." happens more often than not, specially when folks are feeling blue and stressed.

Seeing those ambitions come to fruition for folks who are extended family at this point, it's a neglected feeling of joy and warmth. We struggle for the meekest of things in our lives that when one of us makes it, it's as if we all did it together. Sigh.... at the same time, it's inevitable. As much as I write and exaggerate about having to live a "non'traditional" experience, life doesn't ask for papers. Life doesn't care if you're ready for changes or not, it just sends them your way and the best we can do is adapt to them. Count our blessings and continue forward as things change over time.

Plus, those feelings and thoughts of, "what the fuck am I doing with my life?" stick out their head. But I'm happy where I'm at, and welcome change when it's time for it. Whether I'm ready for it or not is another question. But, I'm happy for my friends blessings and that I'm able to share it with them. To reflect on my life and see that things are only getting better the older I get.