Monday, January 16, 2012

Love and Tamales

Ohhh relationships. Whether they're romantic or friendships, they can take their toll on you I tell ya what. And given that I find myself in rumination after being with someone for the last six months, I've grown immensely in a multiple aspects. For one, I'm not crying or wiping away tears as I type this post up. I'm not emotionally distraught to the point of eating and/or drinking to forget what happened and most importantly, [for me] I am not questioning myself to the point of thinking there is something wrong with me and therefore I must be a horrible person and romantic partner. Ohh dear lord baby jesus 7 lbs 8 oz. if this would have happened to me a year ago, I would have taken a dramatic turn for the worst. 

It's safe to say that the 2 1/2 years I spent "working on myself" have most definitely paid off. That and getting my heart broke. Ziing. But as is everything else in life, one grows and learns from past experiences inorder to avoid past misunderstandings and avoid pain in whatever shape or form it takes. And I in pain right now? That depends, my knee has been giving me problems as of late, but emotionally I'm good. And what does 'good' mean? Well it's something I won't get into detail here, but it's something positive, rest assured. In the past, I would have brought up my lack of immigration status as a point of why I I don't date, have relationships and how I will forever be alone in this world. Thankfully, I've stopped being quite the drama queen when it comes to topics like this, other things are another story. And while in some minute way that still has its role in this recent relationship, it was far from being the make it or break it issue that ended things. No, this time around things just didn't align themselves for prosperity I'm afraid. 

In all honesty, it felt genuinely good to to not only end the relationship with understanding and conversation, but also moving forward with the accumulated experiences from the last 6 months that helped me grow as an individual. I'm enjoying getting older and the tranquility [among other things] that comes with age. I still have more growing to do and more people to meet [and hopefully date] so that one day, the culmination of my experiences will be reaped by someone who will compliment and appreciate me for who I am. And vice versa.