right. Red pill ? Blue pill ? Jedi or Sith ? Pie or cake ? The choice
to go in one direction rather than the other because the direction you
chose is the want you want for yourself. To be more specific, for me
anyway, I'm at the cross roads of having to make the choice of being a
man, making a living, being responsible, generally getting things
done. Or do I continue on this idealistic, semi-bohemian life that is
rich beyond any thing that can be bought or touched.
This of course isn't a problem for some because they've chosen careers
that do offer them successand the kind of life they want. For me
however, I'm torn. Through my writing, I have brought attention not
only to myself, but my neighborhood. I have met people I wouldn't have
met other wise. People who keep influincing my life for the better.
Passing on wisdom and experience toward me. Things that not everyone
is blessed to have, but at what cost ?
I am essentially stuck, never moving beyond the position I'm in
because I'm not persuing ventures that will bring in more income,
rather than just writing for fun or as a service to the community. Do
I live the life of a struggling and starving artist and fulfill my
deepest desires or do I swallow it down, get a job, a place, a car,
junk to fill te house and call it a day ? Of course there's other
paths out there to be found and explored, but for the time being, this
is what's in front of me.
Do I continue being a community reporter, writing about what I see,
events happening, issues affecting the community and such ? How
selfless can one be before they start to injure themselves ? I thought
about something today. In olden times, a persons word was worth a
million bucks. It's all they needed because if you didn't have your
word, if you lied and played, your name would be black listed. Labeled
as a man who cannot keep his word and cannot be trusted.
These days, a persons word is worth bullshit until they earn it over
the years. Gain respect and paid their dues. Reporters and their words
are no longer valued as they once were. It's easy to buy someone off
really. So what are my words worth in the online world ? In the real
world ? Words won't pay bills. The thanks I get from people for
writing about them or people for helping them discover something new
If you go one way, you can be a man and make a living and get shunned
from the people who helped you get there. Hmm quite the pickle. And
it's not over by a long shot. I just had to put some words down to
free space. Left or right ? Fuck it, I'll go straight.
~ con safos ~