Tuesday, August 11, 2009


One of my fav Anthrax songs. Lately I have noticed something that I
never saw or realized before. Going to spots I have been to before
under a different mentality really makes me ponder about the way
things are. I mean, it's only been over the last 2 years that I have
started to develope and fine tune my way of thinking, finding out who
I REALLY am, where I stand and learning about life. All my life I have
never belong anywhere for what ever reason I thought to accept and
justify that line of thinking, but it's only now that I realize that I
was right all along.

I don't relate to anyone outside, well.... my heritage or line of
thinking. All my life I have been told that being "mainstream/pop
white" is what everyone should stride for. To be "normal" and be, no
offense to any one, but white, Anglo or in some cases, mainstream
American. As defined by popular traditions, society and mainstream
media which dictate what's cool and not.

Today I realized that not only do I not belong to any of that, that I
never will and that I feel pity for those living that mind of reality,
I am anti-social. So to speak. I realized today when I was at the
beach and saw all those "normal" people in one place at the sametime.
That and outsiders trying to be like those "normal" people. Hmm as I
get older the more I distance myself from the mainstream/pop world. I
see past situations under a different perspective and I realize that
being alone and an outsider suits me perfectly. Better than letting tv
and the media tell me what I need, what go buy and how to live. Pffft
screw that. I'm never going to be like them. Mindless cows lead to the
slaughter. Delicious mind less cows.

~ con safos ~